"Mallettbarr Plainess" - A Summary of Mallettbarr Culture and Defining Characteristics

Mallettbarr isn't called the Prudence State because of the implication that its residents are humble, low-key and are extremely disinclined to stand out from one another – Mallettbarrites are socially prudent, tend to be largely ignorant of the world outside their own physical constitutions, and are unwavering (indeed, the state's motto). Anti-social, curt, brusque, abrasive, provincial, grumpy, aloof, cold, distant, insecure, self-defensive and standoffish are not words you'd expect to describe someone from a place that's in between Altamasstachia and Hawaii, but these stereotypes are accurate and appropriate given their love of living pure, unadulterated country life and in solitude, nature, hunting, fishing, hiking and football and a quiet contempt for anything else. Where a whisper is a yell, Mallettbarrites are a hard, difficult people who live simply and deliberately. 

After all, "Mallettbarr Plainess", the term often used to describe the reclusive nature and seemingly simplistic lifestyles of the average Mallettbarrite, was first noted in the late-1940s as having stemmed from the Appalachian and Midwestern United States outcasts who came to these shores throughout the 19th and early 20th century and would forge in the industries of agriculture, oil and mining, and has evolved over the years to its present-day form of secretly narcissistic, socially averse and rurally inclined residents. 

No one knows the exact reason as to how Mallettbarr's lack of a social fabric came to be or why, but a strong inferiority complex is commonly cited as forming this defining atmospheric trait of the state and its stereotypes. Like the hikikomori in Japan who experience voluntary severe social withdrawal, Mallettbarrites rarely seek interaction with others save for the purposes of nature guides, hunting, fishing, playing or coaching football and other sports or more urban professions which require more than essential communication that can be found in Melvinsboro (the state capital), namely politics, insurance and the media. Mallettbarr is the slowest-growing U.S. state, has the highest percentage of children who are home-schooled and has the highest rates of depression and suicide in the United States. Mallettbarr's political culture is a paradox – it is considered the most right-wing U.S. state (and is noted for its culture of dog-whistle politics and stochastic recalcitrance perpetuated by the dominant Gary family political machine – "sovereign citizens" and doomsday hunters are prevalent in the state and often lean on the far-right end of the political spectrum) and yet it is also the most irreligious (52% are atheist/agnostic), which is strange considering American conservative politics strongly cater to people who have religious beliefs. Mallettbarr also has the highest voter registration and turnout in the United States, with 82% registered to vote as of 2020 and a turnout of 85% in that year's elections. Owing to the Gary family political machine, widespread corruption has blistered Mallettbarr's standing in Congress and general American affairs. In spite of the rudimentary image often presented by media and works set in the state, Mallettbarr's political culture is often a mix of performative outrage and engineered, sensationalistic fearmongering, expressing views that (thankfully) are only mainstream in Mallettbarrite society. 

And the average Mallettbarrite's general inability to be open with others (some extreme examples have shown Mallettbarrite households to be distant and dysfunctional) and open hostility towards anything that does not follow these conventions, bizarre as they are, serve as an impasse that stunts Mallettbarr's growth and relevance in American society and culture. The animosity for its northern neighbor Altamasstachia (and to an extent a vehement distrust for all the other U.S. states in general) is only equaled by the collective fear of what life would be like had Mallettbarr not been part of the United States, with a reliance on the presence of the American military seen as what protects the state from potential global harm. Not all is dour or lost though: the state's most noteworthy contributions to American cuisine is the duck roll (an egg roll with duck meat in lieu of pork, chicken or beef), the Mallettbarr tomato pie, the abundance of collard greens and their love of snow cones (for some strange reason, snow cones are what get Mallettbarrites' happiness levels up to where they act like normal, sane, reasonable people and snow cone vendors are seen as a Santa Claus figure). And high school/college football games and country music concerts have always been proven to be sure-fire methods to draw an enthusiastic crowd in an otherwise sober and no-frills part of the world. (The state's most famous band, Houston Birch Drive (led by lead singer/guitarist Anthony Gildersleeve), originated in Melvinsboro in 1981 and they're as country music as it gets.). 

In theory, the very facts that Mallettbarr is a U.S. state that drives on the left side of the road (as a direct result of its British and Australian heritage) and is between Altamasstachia (separated by the Sea of Orr) and Hawaii (separated by the Pacific Ocean) all suggest that life in Mallettbarr is interesting. If you love being a hermit who espouses rugged individualism and is in tune with nature and wildlife, then Mallettbarr is a paradise. But if you seek even a slither of a social life though, you'll want to consider living somewhere else. Mallettbarr is the sort of place people only visit if a) they have family, relatives and/or close friends who live there, or b) if they're wanting to visit all U.S. states, and caution is advised to those wanting to visit Mallettbarr beyond Melvinsboro or Newmarket Fellows as there is a unique flavor of ignorance and xenophobia that remains near-ubiquitous. Should you manage to make a friendship with a Mallettbarrite, trust that they'll be true to the end. There is a plethora of extraordinary adventures to be had in this state, and while Mallettbarr Plainess is a real phenomenon and Mallettbarr will never be anywhere near like Altamasstachia for the foreseeable future, it is also a frame of mind that only exists if you let it.