A Basic Guide to Sports in Mallettbarr

High school and collegiate sports are popular in Mallettbarr, although Mallettbarrites are not known to socialize over anything (let alone sports), and there is a well-documented disinterest for professional sports across the state. One of the few things Mallettbarr has in common with its northern neighbor and rival Altamasstachia (other than no Interstate or U.S. highways) is their equaled disinterest in the sport of soccer. In order to better understand Mallettbarr sports (as well as Mallettbarr society & culture, for that matter), one should know the rivalry between Altamasstachia and Mallettbarr.

THE RIVALRY BETWEEN ALTAMASSTACHIA & MALLETTBARR. 

No one in either Altamasstachia nor Mallettbarr knows exactly how and why the rivalry between the two states started, but the collegiate sporting rivalry between the two states is regarded as one of America's fiercest, most-established and best college sports rivalries. Some say the distinction between the two states is like two different societies with their own culture and identity. Whereas the average Altamasstachian is depicted as exuberant, jovial, outgoing and hospitable, the average Mallettbarrite is stereotyped as reclusive, solitary, anti-social and backwards. Think the rivalry between Springfield and Shelbyville from The Simpsons, but as two U.S. states separated by the Sea of Orr in the Pacific Ocean. If Altamasstachia is the "Springfield" then Mallettbarr is most certainly the "Shelbyville." And while Altamasstachia boasts the superior population, economy and quality of life, there is one field its neighbor to the south more often than not bests them at — the football field. Gridiron football, a staple of American sporting culture, carried over to both states around the late 1920s. The northern state slowly caught onto football but the sport has never been the most popular in Altamasstachia, and has the unenviable task of competing with the longstanding tradition of ten-pin bowling - for which Altamasstachians are world-renowned - and baseball - which is considered to be America's pastime. On the other hand, Mallettbarrites, who are relatively short-handed in populace and economic growth and in social etiquette, are somehow masterful in football across high school and collegiate levels, and college football matches between schools from the two states are almost always resounding victories in favor of the Mallettbarr school. On the rare occasion that the Altamasstachia school defeats the Mallettbarr school in a game of football, it's a day of celebrations in the Bayflower State while those in the Prudence State walk home humbled as usual. For instance, the Mallettbarr Mallards have only lost three times to the Altamasstachia Knights in college football since 1947, with the most recent Altamasstachia victory occurring in the 1989 season. Mallettbarrites aren't known to be the sort of people who celebrate anything, and their solitary, off-putting nature was notably observed by the American college sports world in the 1970s, when after the 1974 Peach Bowl (which saw the Mallettbarr Mallards defeat the Vanderbilt Commodores 23-6), the Mallettbarr team just ran off the field into the locker room without fanfare and refusing to interact with the media or exchange in the usual shake of hands with the Commodores, and had refused to accept the Peach Bowl trophy for their victory. (The Mallettbarr Mallards have not won another college football bowl game since.) But if there's something other than pure, unadulterated country music that Mallettbarrites will band together for, it's football. So, while Altamasstachians bask in the glories of defeating their southern neighbor in all other sports and facets of life, Mallettbarrites are content to show up to football matches, holding supreme confidence that their team will win.

FOOTBALL. As can be attested to above, Mallettbarrites do have a gift for the gridiron, and thus, football is the most popular team sport in the state. Owing to the small population of the state, the largest stadium by capacity in Mallettbarr is Mitchell P. Henley Stadium in Melvinsboro (home of the Mallettbarr Mallards football team), which only holds 21,000 spectators. However, a lucky few people who have played for a Mallettbarr school go on to be NFL players, where they find fame and fortune and decide to live in fancier places in the world where they will be more warmly received. Even fewer people in Mallettbarr pay much attention to NFL games, viewing the professional leagues of sports as pretentious and self-aggrandizing.

HUNTING & FISHING. Mallettbarrites are people who live simply and deliberately so, and they are primarily interested in the great outdoors and country life. So, it is not surprising that hunting and fishing are popular activities across the state.

WRESTLING. Another popular sport on the high school and collegiate levels in Mallettbarr, and the state's history of wrestling dates back to the late 19th century when Mallettbarr was still a Crown Dependency of the United Kingdom. 

BASEBALL. During the spring and summer months, baseball is often played by Mallettbarrites on the Little League, high school and collegiate levels. Though not as popular as football, baseball teams often draw a small crowd if they're really good.

OTHER SPORTS. Mallettbarrites also enjoy sports such as hiking, motor racing, surfing, rugby, cricket, cycling and field hockey. The traditions of rugby and cricket were introduced to Mallettbarr by Australians during the early 20th century, and Australia from 1926 to 1928 owned Mallettbarr as it was salvaged off to them until selling the territory to the United States after determining they could no longer feasibly govern such a distant land.